Mejo nakakainis na… November 30, 2007
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Bitterness doesn’t mean you hate falling in love… It’s just being wise and careful so that your heart won’t be used and torn apart again..
Somebody once asked me, “How do you hold love?” I answered “With your hands wide open, with your heart ready to let go and let the other grow.”. And that somebody asked, “What if it hurts you?” I smiled and said, “Then it means you’re doing it right”…
Sometime in our life we play with love.. But when the time comes and you finally realize that you want to get serious, LOVE… Plays with your life.
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CANZONE 02 ~ T0HARVESTTHEST0RM November 27, 2007
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Risen from the ashes, the ashes of the dreams you burned. So many wars these eyes have seen. So many agonies my soul went through. I died with them so many years ago. Just in darkness, my eyes see the world. There is nothing more to lose. Forlorn in desperation, the fruits of your power. A world of slaves and servants - the only aim to rule them all. Punishment to nonconformists, death and terror to the upright ones. Coups and interventions, nothing will be uncontrolled. My life against your reign, a final judgement will be given. You come with me, this is the end
A time will come for all of you to harvest the storm. My blood will drown your flame of greed. The time has come for you: To harvest the storm
No single tear, no single scream. A silent smile - the time is now. A moment of redemption. The time has come : To harvest the storm
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Some “quotes” to ponder on… November 26, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Life, Sleepy , add a commentLife may lead us to different roads, meeting new people and learning new things. But one thing is for sure… I will never forget the road where I met you! Thanks for being nice to me…
To walk is what I always do… But I prefer not to look back to people who’s no longer walking with me.. Then someone asked me: Why did you just let other people leave you? Then I answered: Life is a long journey.. Let’s see who will be walking with me until the end of the road..
If one day I’m gone and failed to say goodbye, remember that I’ll never fail to say.. THANK YOU! Thank you.. Coz one moment in my life I got the chance to know you…
In failed relationships, there are two personas: The one who left and the one who is left behind: The former enjoys a lot while the other dies slowly.. The one who left rejoices as if he/she won a case.. The other one though not guilty was jailed.. The first will find a new love but the other will stick for the love to come back.. The one who left brought the memories and the other was left with a scar.. Lastly, the one who left wakes up with a brand new day while the one left behind wakes up with another day to battle the pain..
I always pretend to be happy, talking a lot and laughing out loud so that nobody would know what IÂ really feel inside. But at the end of the day, I always find myself all alone, encountering the crucial truth.. That I’m too broken inside and that not even a million laughter can take it away..
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I will not lie if I say that I get affected by these… At times. But most often, yes.
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All in a head’s daze and what nots… November 24, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Bored , add a commentI was supposed to go to a party tonight with my sister down in Q.C. but we found out it got cancelled so well, few minutes ago we were pigging out on some left-overs and milk and presto cream sandwiches (substitutes for oreo…) and I am very much full in the tummy-belly. Goodness…
Sigh* I’m kind of feeling a bit melancholy due to boredome and because I’ve got some stuff in my head again, like, random thoughts again. I’m kinda dizzy, too, from two cigs of reds and well, but I’m fine.
There’s so much to say like, I would like to say something about sad people. Yes I am part of the sad club, but I can say that my friends are the sadder ones. If only I could help each and every sad person in the universe, I would do it. But, my goodness, they are TOO many and even though I’d help them out and lend an ear, they’d still have to figure it out all by themselves. It frustrates me to think of that… But I can still do something. WE can still do something for the whole world gone lonely.
And… That’s it. It’s not too long ’til January comes… January 2008… The month and year that’ll change my life forever.
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Æ0N FLUX November 24, 2007
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CANZONE 01 ~ ENDOFTHEWORLD November 24, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Armor for Sleep, End of the World, Lyrics, Smile For Them , add a comment 
Tidal waves are gonna swallow your town alive, terrorists are gonna poison all our skies. Bodies are gonna wash up on the beach, hell is gonna bring your parents to their knees. You escape, I’ll stay… I’m so tired of running away. I wanna stay at home for the end of the world, falling asleep when they’re dropping the bomb. This is all a dream, that’s what I’ll be singing… Pack all your bags and lock all your doors behind, clear out the cities and pray for your little lives. You’ve all escaped, I’ve stayed. I’m so tired of running away…. Everything around you is gonna turn into the biggest pile of ashes that you could ever imagine. Everything around you is gonna turn into the biggest pile of nothingness. So keep on running, keep on running.
I wanna stay at home…
This is all a dream…
That’s what I’ll be singing.
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I’m feelin’ “Light”… (Yey?) November 21, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Uncategorized , add a commentThank you that I’m feeling much better than, like, a couple of minutes ago. When I feel down, I just put all my whereabouts in an imaginary fishbowl, contain ‘em all together and throw it up, like, SO high that it would reach the stars.
Yey I just finished my assignment for PROFESSIONAL ETHICS. Unfortunately, my sloth has regained strength and thus I transform to someone, who will sleep now. Haha. (Coz I am supposed to sketch for Laptop designs. Hmmm…) Wait a minute! WHY DON’T I SKETCH NOW! I SHOULD STOP THIS PROCASTINATION. STOP THE PROCASTINATION! Darnit I want to have sense in my life, like, NOW. Hehe.
(Hmm, sense in my life by not sleeping. And my class is at eight in the morning. Goooooodluck!)
Yeah… I complicate my life sometimes. Thanks!
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Too heavy? November 21, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Uncategorized , add a commentIt has been twenty minutes since I arrived here. Just got back from St.John’s “crib” haha we talked, ate dinner, smoked cigarettes, drank coke, talked, talked, and talked, and we just kept on talking. And the weirdest thing was that we were talking about topics such as love, and religion, and relationships… And now as I backtrack on all that I have said during the so-called “incontro”, I was such a BLABBERMOUTH in a heavy and weird and did I mention, WEIRD way?! I kinda feel bad about myself for talking too much on things I shouldn’t be talking about. And I plan on just keeping some of the heavy opinions to myself coz I feel like my bandmates would’ve accepted it in a pretty heavy kind of way.
There are some things learned that I should have kept it to myself.
I dunno. Or maybe, I am just being a prick.
Moving on…
Yes, moving on, and I have to do stuff for… Two subjects HAHA. Yeah I haven’t done ‘em yet coz I’m a freakin’ lazy college student.
I feel so bad just blabbing away earlier. Darn “SHUT UP, LEN”. Hehe.
I feel like I’m scaring people off. How quaint.
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Non anchora… November 20, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Life, Uncategorized , add a commentI’m here in the “House of Noise” using Nelson’s computer and we just got back from practice and it was great!
…
It’s funny how things change everyday, and time sure flies REALLY fast and I am glad that I am okay again. I know I won’t be okay (especially next year…) but it’s life.
I’ve actually experienced Life… at 21.
Grabeh…
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MAYBESOMEDAY November 19, 2007
Posted by elenahitomi in : Life , add a commentMaybe someday if I’m ready then I’ll show the world my 100%…
Maybe someday if I’m ready then I’ll do more things not just for myself but for others…
Maybe someday if I’m ready then I won’t be scared anymore and I’ll face the world without hesitation but with love.
Maybe someday… If I’m ready… I can be in a serious relationship and when I would meet a guy, I won’t be scared anymore and I won’t hesitate anymore and we both’d be at peace.
Yeah… I just want to say that even though I would like it SO MUCH to be in a relationship, I can’t. Why? Because I’m still studying. It’s not enough for us to love each other if we still have things to do and I myself am not ready (because I have more important things to do…).
He has to go abroad to work for his family, for himself, to have a better future. I am also studying hard to get a degree and have a good job and hopefully migrate to Canada afterwards. Reality sure does give me a lot of fear and threat… But it’s for the good of me, and most especially, for his own good. Sometimes I should let go of the things that I want to do and want to have and embrace the things that I have to do like studying, graduating, having a stable job and become a stable person inside and out. And then maybe when I have achieved that, then if Him and I are meant to be together, then our paths will cross and we’ll be together again. We can finally be together in the future. But for now, we just can’t be. We can be friends… But not more than friends AT THIS MOMENT. But the future holds a LOT of possible outcomes. And it’s possible that our paths will truly cross. But I should just focus on the present… What do I have to do now.
I think I have understood myself. The fact that I have realised that … I mean… It’s not that I don’t want to get married… It’s not that I want to stay single forever… It’s actually… I DO want to get married and have kids. But now, now I am not a married woman and I don’t have kids. I’m still a college student who is studying and doesn’t have lots of money… Haha… And that’s just probably it. My mom once told me that is I were to be in a serious relationship, we should be ready for marriage. And I am NOT yet ready because I am still young without much money and I am still not working. But I SO wanna get married and I’m gonna work so hard to have so much money so that I’d have my own car and a small condo unit, whatever… Him and I would help each other out without pulling each other down, without pressuring each other… Sigh… But until that day… Present moment.
I don’t even know if someone out there’d understand what I’m saying right now. But here are all my thoughts, what I have learned… I’ve learned a chalk-full of things… I have learned A LOT.
So to those guys out there who are crushing on me? I am so sorry to dissappoint you but I am no entertaining ANYONE because I am NOT interested and I’ve got more important things to do.
And… Sigh… Maybe Someday…
What if ?
.
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